I feel I’m pretty qualified to speak on this subject as I have personally attended… well, let’s just say a lot of weddings.
I want to start by saying this is your day, and the most important thing is to make sure both you and your partner agree on everything or at the very least ensure you’re both happy with your respective compromises.
So if you want to serve fish and chips at your wedding but your future father in-law is insisting he will pay for 60 3-course meals, don’t budge, let him pay for the chips, because that’s what you want. While we’re on the subject let’s talk food.
1: What’s the best wedding food?
I can honestly say a buffet is the way to go, it can be done with cheap and cheerful, timeless favourites to be enjoyed by the old and the young guests.
You can also turn that around and get some high-end canapes, or even a waiter to carry them around. This ensures people are comfortable and can take as little or as much as they like.
Other cool things I have seen at weddings; as I had previously said, fish and chips! These particular fish and chips were served in a cone to symbolise the way the couple had met. They also had a candyfloss machine and a sweet stand, this worked really well as about 30% of the guests attending were aged 3–14. If you live local to Milton Keynes or Northampton I can highly recommend Clarke’s Confectionery, go and check them out!
2: What music should I play for my wedding?
This is probably a question you already know the answer to, but i’ll answer it anyway: Whatever you like. You need to keep in mind this is a celebration of two individuals uniting. If you’re both weirdo’s that like nothing more than standing dead still while listening to white noise then do that.
I would recommend getting a DJ, I have been to many weddings where I’ll be talking away then all of a sudden one song ends but the other never starts! Then typically a bridesmaid runs over to change the the phone as the first one has died.
The DJ is a massive part of the night, the last thing you want is to put the responsibility onto a guest, plus they (usually) bring with them all kinds of lights, lasers and fog machines, creating a complete change in atmosphere. A thing that is often overlooked is the creative control, trust in the DJ to play what’s right, obviously make a list of all the songs you want to play and let them do the rest, oh and if you see the DJ on a roll for god’s sake don’t let anyone request Agadoo!
3: How to decide who sits with who?
You may already know how I played this one at my wedding, and it wasn’t because I didn’t care. I have seen people having a horrible time because they were sat at a table with people they didn’t like. When I got married I didn’t have a seating plan, my guests sat wherever they liked.
You can choose to keep everyone away from the crazy ones in your family but you know what, if you have invited them, they are a part of you, embrace it.
The way my wife and I saw it, we are uniting our families and some will feel more comfortable sitting with people they know and others will be happy to sit with new people, just don’t force it.
4: What’s the best wedding entertainment?
Obviously I’m going to be extremely bias, but even when playing devils advocate I can’t see anything better than a magician.
There are other alternatives like 4 piece band..but you have a DJ right?
Juggling act, dancers, fire breathers? for what I can see these are great entertainment but everyone will see it at the same time and it won’t last long.
When you book a magician, they weave in and out of the crowd mingling and bringing people together, creating intimate and memorable moments in a one on one setting, this can be repeated for 1–3 hours (depending on how big the venue and guests in attendance). The only thing I would say is make sure you know who you’re booking, you often get what you pay for.
5: Drink.
What everyone needs after the ceremony!
I would say when booking the venue, keep an eye out for a bar or if they have a licence so you can either bring drinks in or hire a cocktail maker or one of those tiny prosecco vans. We opted for a bar where the guests can buy their own drinks, there’s a preconception that when you go to a wedding everything is bought and paid for by the bride and groom, the way I see it; you’re putting on a cracking party already, let them get the drinks in. If you really feel like it you can put a few hundred behind the bar for everyone’s first drink.
6: Should I hire a photographer?
I personally didn’t but I wish I had. To be honest I documented the day quite well considering, but if I could do it again I would definitely have hired one.
It was my suggestion to get 3 Polaroid cameras and a disposable camera for each table with a pinteresty label saying something like “Help us to capture our day”. After consulting with a friend of mine we opted to just keep the Polaroids and ditch the disposable as they are unreliable and apparently you can get a lot of blank rolls.
We just told everyone to take as many pictures as possible, and to be honest we got quite a few nice ones, I just wish there was two of me, so I could have gotten the shots I wanted.
My sister also helped a bunch by making up a photo booth box, filled with glasses and fake facial hair. There are loads of pictures of our family and friends having a good laugh with those.
7: Venue
We strongly wanted a beach wedding, but were persuaded otherwise, I guess it was a good job really as there are all sorts of permits needed, oh! and it rained…ironic?
Pick a venue that would fit all your guests quite comfortably, and ensure you can have it for a period of time before the event so you can do your own decorating. As stated, try and get a bar if you can and if you can get a decent sized dance floor in there, do that. You will be surprised at the amount of people that will want a dance after they have had their second G&T.
8: Decorations
If your wedding is some time away ensure at least once a month you are buying a few decorations, you need to make sure you have something for the tables. We opted for some glass jars that were made to look really nice by Emily’s auntie, along with some table confetti and some LED lights.
I also included some mason jars filled with sweets and some popcorn cones for the kids to have. Balloons are a must, just fill the floor with a few packets and make sure you treat yourself to a few beers after you have blown them all up, I know I did.
We opted out for chair covers…nothing against them it just seems like it’s a bit of a scam as you have to rent them out?
9: Speeches
I was absolutely terrified about giving my speech, as was the best man and father of the bride. After about an hour and a half of being in the venue I had hoped everyone had forgotten, they hadn’t.
Luckily I didn’t ‘wing it’ like I originally planned, I wrote honestly and ended up with a speech that was packed with humor and emotion, I can’t tell you how to deliver it but writing mine was something like this:
Thank all who came, tell the story of how you met. Remember the one’s who couldn’t make it. Compliment the bridle party, and turn on anyone that heckles.
I have been to some weddings where the speeches were clearly copied from the internet and never rehearsed. Always speak your own words and you will never go wrong. Fight the emotions when you need to then run with them.
10: After thoughts:
Stay true to your original plans, don’t change them for convenience of your guest, compromise if you have to but make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.
This is a great occasion to hire everyone you know, don’t ask for discounts they will probably give you a good price anyway!
For decorations and small bits Poundland is your friend, and don’t underestimate a good car-boot sale. There is plenty of cool things you can get cheaply that you can take to the venue.
Don’t put off planning, make a deal with your partner that once per week you plan more of the wedding because you may feel like 8 months is a long time away, I can tell you: it isn’t.
Send out old fashioned invites to the older generation, they don’t get Facebook invites.
Bride and Groom: bring a change of clothes, anything can happen.
These are my thoughts on weddings, but like I said do it your way
If you can share this with someone getting married please do, I really appreciate it and it helps me a lot.
-Josh Maddocks 2019
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